Recovery... Group therapy and 12 step

Shortly after finding out my boyfriend was a sex addict, I began searching for other people in similar situations to relate to.

Unfortunately, in my city there was only one COSA meeting per week in the middle of a workday and with a full-time job, I was not able to attend these meetings.
I found another therapy recovery group called LifeStar. It was a 3 phase program. Phase 1was education about sex addiction. Phase 2 was about the five stages of grief, family of origin, the drama cycle, etc. Phase 3 was for deeper more personal recovery.  I began this program hopeful that finally I could connect with someone who understood what I was going through, but what I found was that my situation was the "worst case scenario" and I didn't feel that I was able to relate to the other people in the group. Perhaps it's not fair to compare situations, but I felt like the other people could not possibly relate when their partners were simply viewing pornography and my partner had acted out with multiple people and was involved in illegal activities. I remember telling my story and having one of the therapists say "it sounds like you are really focused on the details". Well of course I was...it was shocking and I thought I was in a safe place for recovery. How can I do that if I can't share it openly and get it off my chest?! In addition, majority of the other members knew each other through church and I became frustrated because meetings had become more about religion than recovery.  After 4 months and more than $1,000 invested, I didn't feel this program was the right fit for me.
By this time COSA, had finally introduced a second meeting which was one day a week in the evening. I was nervous to enter into another program fearing the same ostrucized feeling as before, but that wasn't the case at all. The women of COSA embraced me, it was a sigh of relief to finally be understood and I didn't feel judged or ashamed.
Initially I struggled with some of the concepts of 12 steps. First, identifying as being a codependent. However, after doing research on my own I came to terms with the meaning behind being codependent. For me codependence had to do with putting others feelings ahead of my own and refusing to acknowledge when something didn't seen right just to avoid confrontation. Another issue I had was  admitting my wrong doings and asking forgiveness. I mean after all I was the victim here!!! In time I came to realize that the 12 steps were a lifestyle change and didn't have to do with solely addiction, but more to do with finding peace in your life. For me it was about finding a way that the steps applied to my life.
I spent a year and a half attending COSA every week and made some great connections with wonderful people. Unfortunately, over time the group dwindled. Meetings became an hour of silence or an hour of just discussing how meetings help, and less about feelings, positivity and moving forward. I have not attended a meeting in several months now. I have recently been searching for phone on online meetings for COSA or S-anon, but I have not been very successful in locating current meetings. If anyone has suggestions please share.